


time

by orphan_account



Category: Newsies (1992), Newsies - All Media Types, Newsies!: the Musical - Fierstein/Menken
Genre: Alcohol, Alcohol Abuse, M/M, Self-Destructive Behavior, Self-Harm, i'm just. a fucking mess and needed to get some feelings out, idk - Freeform, kind of?, so here's this shit i guess, this a really short and messy vent fic and doesn't make any sense at all, vaguely mentioned violence
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-10
Updated: 2017-08-10
Packaged: 2018-12-13 12:23:54
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 517
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11759811
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: race gives spot time, until he realizes that spot has run out of time.





	time

**Author's Note:**

> this makes no sense im sorry i can't think straight at all and this was written in like. ten minutes and it's short and messy and just. very nonsensical im sorry. im really only posting this bc sometimes it feels nicer to vent where like. it's public?? for some reason that makes me feel less like all my emotions are isolated idfk 
> 
> it's really heavily based on buildings by regina spektor

A bad coping mechanism. That's what started this whole thing. It wasn't so bad at first, because at first, Race had no idea how truly damaging all of this was. 

No. Because Race didn't realize that Spot came home with bruises and a bloody nose on purpose. Race thought this was Spot's loud mouth getting him into petty fights, like usual. But no, of course it wasn't as simple as that. Because nothing was that simple with Spot. 

It took Race a while to figure out the pattern. But several weeks of Spot coming home drunk and bloody later, Race realized that this surely couldn't be Spot accidentally starting fights with his short temper. Spot wanted to get hurt. Race didn't for the life of him know why, but Spot wanted to be hurt. 

But Race couldn't ask Spot why. Spot was gone most of the time now. Either off getting drunk and starting fights, or busy at work. The only times Race really saw Spot anymore was when Spot was drunkenly retching up the contents of his stomach, or when Spot not-so-quietly climbed into bed at four in the morning. 

Race wanted to ask why. Race wanted to know where this self-destructive behavior came from. Race wanted to know why Spot was never home. Race wanted to know why Spot didn't seem to care much about his own boyfriend anymore. Race wanted to know why Spot didn't seem to care much about himself anymore. 

But Race said nothing. He stayed silent. _He needs time. I'll give him time,_ Race repeated over and over again in his head. But the longer this went on, the less time Race really wanted to give Spot. Nonetheless, he kept giving Spot time. Because time was all that Race had left to give to Spot. 

But that was the thing; Time isn't given, and time isn't taken. 

Race was fooling nobody but himself. And truthfully, Spot was running out of time. All the time Race tried to give him, and yet he was still running out of time. Running out of time to make amends. Running out of time to fix what he had broken. It was a strange to think that after all the time Race gave him, he was truly running out of time. 

When Spot came home hungover for the eighth morning in a row, Race didn't hold his hand comfortingly as he emptied the contents of his stomach. Race didn't grab a glass of water and two tablets of Advil for Spot. Race didn't say, "It's okay. I love you," to Spot when Spot slurred out an apology. 

Instead, Race went to get coffee with Katherine. Spot stayed home, finally sober enough to recollect his thoughts and re-evaluate everything he had done. 

When Race got home, he ignored Spot's now-sober apologies. He slept over at Katherine's and ignored Spot's calls and texts. Because now Race knew that Spot had run out of time long ago. 

After that day, Race stopped giving time to Spot. 

Because Spot was out of time. 

And time cannot be given or taken.


End file.
